One hour = one rough draft query letter. Not bad. There are, of course, a billion and one ways to write a query letter and from what I've learned it boils down to one thing: being psychic. The examples of queries that have sold books vary as much as the people who buy the books. It's all about the individual person's taste, what's selling on the market, and luck (and, of course, a good story, but I think I've got that nailed). So my current strategy is to write several query letters and pick from the best. I have two so far. One focuses on a more lengthy book description, like a mini synopsis, the other gives a more general overview. To show you a bit of what I mean, here are the two different opening paragraphs for my query letters:
Humor, fantasy, and a dash of romance make Basic Trouble a delightful urban fantasy. The quest of the often clumsy and always optimistic and resilient Madison Fox defines the two themes of this book: finding meaning in life and a place to belong. Madison finds both only when she embraces who she was always meant to be: an illuminant enforcer, using her unique ability to fight evil.
Beneath commonplace suburbia lurks evil creatures who feed off the good life force of average, oblivious people. Only a small group of people can prevent evil domination of the world, one small region at a time. Madison Fox is one of those people, though she doesn't know it yet…and there's hardly time to train her before the evil hordes overwhelm her region.
In the second one, I don't mention the title (Conventional Demon) until the second paragraph. As you can see, I'm also still trying to decide on a title. Luckily, I have several people who are helping me think up ideas and narrow them down. You can also see that these are still in rough draft format.
Take the poll and tell me what you think of the opening paragraphs. I appreciate the feedback!