Sunday, August 16, 2009

G.I. Joe Flashbacks

Cody and I finally saw the G.I. Joe movie. It had all the predictable elements: lots of amazing action, women who remain perfectly makeuped throughout 36 straight hours of fighting and who maintain hair a model would kill for, over-the-top obvious villains and good guys who are each other's match only because they are both so extremely gifted, and lots of CG goodness. Basically, it was everything I was looking for (except for a more real portrayal of women, but I knew that wasn't to be expected going into the film, so I consciously made myself set aside my gripes so I could enjoy the story).

What I didn't expect was nightmares.

There's nothing more scary about this action movie than any movie about semiplausible horrific military weapons that could potentially be let loose on the world. The evil guys weren't exceptionally terrifying, and even at their grossest, they weren't featured in my dreams. Bizarrely, the part that kept waking me up was the fly-by graphics, the ones where the object in motion (car, plane, submarine, guy in a fancy suit—all of which were metallic and eye-catching) zooms past too fast to follow. All night long, I kept seeing this—this blur of light and color and metal. And it left me restless and unhappy.

Maybe that's not exactly a nightmare, but it was an unexpected side effect. I'm betting most people don't react the same way, but I gained a little bit of insight into how those bewildered children must have felt when they started having seizures in front of early video games. Fortunately, it was only in my dreams. I'm sure tonight will be peaceful and restful.

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